The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion to say the least.
In fact this post was started over a week ago but has just sat here.
It started over two weeks ago with a phone call that led to a match that culminated with what we had worried about . . . a failed match.
I would be remiss if I did not say I was sad because I was sad. I would be remiss if I did not say I am disappointed because I feel that way sometimes. I would be remiss if I did not say I am a little frustrated because at times I feel that way too.
Adoption is tricky when you really come down to it. It takes many people involved in order for it to happen. It involves at times short notice or even with notice you end still end up waiting. Waiting for a final result or decision that ultimately will end in sadness for one side (if not both sides) involved.
It is all complicated.
By Wednesday evening nearly 2 weeks ago and a late evening call our worries were becoming a little more real and by that Thursday afternoon we had our answer. Our birthmother chose to parent; While I may be sad and disappointed I wish them nothing but the best.
That Thursday afternoon we insisted that we be put back into the “presentation pile” to be shown to possible birthparents. I won’t lie – the thought of going through another failed match is scary. I am putting faith in that it just won’t happen again.
So after a few days of hanging out with family and a stop to see friends in North Texas we have come to home to “normal” – after all our life is the same as before.
We have returned to work and thus returned to normal life. Today we went to a birthday party, I have worked on laundry, put up some fall decorations (I am so ready for that cool fall weather), we grilled out on the back porch and now are watching a movie. Our normal weekend stuff (until hockey starts anyway).
I am grateful for the “normalcy” of our life but I would be lying if I didn’t say I am disappointed at what could have been. So for now I am just antsy, anxious and (at times) incredibly impatient; I know it is going to work out. We will have children of our own in our home. I just hope sooner rather than later.
Thank you again for your love and support. Our child will be extremely loved (and spoiled) when we get to meet them.