My birthday was Saturday. I normally like birthdays – especially my own.  Growing up my family always took such care to make sure my sister and I had a special day.  For me this meant even more to me since I was born on my mom’s birthday.  My mother always made sure that my birthday was special even though we shared our day.  (When I am being honest about it – I sometimes feel terrible for it because it always meant (and means) the attention is on me.)  But I loved (and love) the fact that share a birthday and to make it even a little bit better our birthday is the day before my sweet Grandpa’s birthday.  He has been gone over 10 years and I still never forget his birthday, I guess I feel that I MUST have been an early birthday present for him too.  (I guess I think highly of myself.  LOL Regardless – the fact that his birthday was the day after mine always makes my birthday special to me as well.)

I digress.  I usually love my birthday.  J plans things for my birthday full of themes and surprises.  (I guess I am still the princess.)

This is generally how I feel about my birthday:

This year though I just wasn’t feeling it.  After the last two months of disappointment I guess I just really wasn’t into another reminder that I am getting older and some days I feel we aren’t any closer to being a family of three than we were the day before. Work has felt strange and perhaps because of my lack luster frame of mind has been stressful. Dealing with insurance after Josh’s car got wrecked last weekend was another stress.  It has been a busy week – one of those weeks where I am not sure what I have done though I know I have worked at work and at home and I know I am tired.

I spent Friday cleaning for Saturday and starting working on yet another project for my not an office anymore room.  I discovered said project is going to take a lot more time to put together than it is to make the pieces.  My brother in law offered to help put it together and I told him I would probably take him up on that offer when I am ready to put it together.  Tying hundreds of pom poms on a rug is going to much more tedious and precarious that I imagined.  Saturday I was told to leave the house while J and my bestie decorated.  I did something I never do – I went shopping on my birthday.  I broke down and bought a book I have been waiting for well over a month for at Mardels, bought two pairs of flats at Payless (on clearance), treated myself to some brunch (I will call it that – it was 11 and we were supposed to eat hamburgers at 2)  in the form of McCallister’s Chicken and Dumplings (afterall it was a rainy, cool fall day after weeks in the 80s/90s), went to Target to pick up a few things and ended up at Penney’s buying some shirts for myself.  Both shirts matched my new shoes (yeah I know, I am weird like that).  My party was nice – it was a family party (My bestie is pretty much family so she counts too.).  We had yummy food, I got some thoughtful gifts and the nephews enjoyed each other (total there 7 nephews and 1 niece all in my house).   My party was a college/sorority party complete with my favorite college movie “Animal House”.

Later we went out to dinner to celebrate my mom (and yes I think I ate all day LOL) and then went home where I picked up the house a little and ended up in bed early reading my new book.

It was a much better birthday than I had thought it would be so I will take it (though I am ignoring that I am another year older – hehe).

And you never know things could change any day.

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